Friends

There are some things in life you can live without.

For instance, certain types of foods.... I can live without vegetarian bacon. I've tried it, found it tasted like bacon, and was satisfied to eat my meaty, fatty bacon.

But there are some things you can't live without. I can't live without a bathroom handy. I can't live without a bowl of cereal at LEAST every week. I can't live without air conditioning in the summer and a heater in the winter.

Something everyone can't live without is a friend.

In Kindergarten, your friend was who you sat by at lunch and who played with you at recess. You didn't share secrets, but you were "friends." Sometimes you even held hands and skipped or hugged. It was as simple as that.

In 1st grade, you figured out who you definitely didn't like and who you did. But you were still nice and called them friends.

As elementary school kept going, you figured out that boys had cooties so you couldn't be friends with boys.

In elementary school, I was friends with Kim, Annie, Chelsea, Kelsey, and my cousin Natalie.

Then, Middle school brings about changes. Friends go through a lot of trials. You are friends one week and mortal enemies the next. Brutal Middle School...Brutal...

My friends were Katelyn, Cassie, Megan, Stephen, Justin, Skye, and more. In middle school, I decided being friends with Skye wasn't worth all of the trouble and frustration, so we stopped.

In middle school, your friends are the ones who will keep your secrets, love you, and will always stand by you...and play barbies with you and not tell anyone about it...

High school, your guy friends turn into more than friends...

your girlfriends fight over those guy friends with you

you go through ups and downs, you realize being friends with Skye over long distance is easier, so you become friends again.

It's an interesting time.

In college, you make friends who will deal with your ups and downs from homework stresses. Your roommates can either be your saints or your hardships. I've had both. Your first semester, you learn that being sarcastic all the time can hurt others. You realize that behind every joke is some truth....and it hurts. Your dad might tell you to live with boys...they have less drama. :)

As college goes on, you make lasting friendships, some you will deal with until the seating arrangement changes, and some that you'll make sure you work hard to keep.

Then, for me, I met my best friend I'll ever have. I married him. He's truly my best friend and soulmate.

But here's the thing. A lot of girls think that their social life now is only him. What??

Why does that make sense?

J and I loved our social scene in college. We both went to 2 years of college before getting married. It was fun! We would do homework and then go play. or play and then go do homework!

Why is it that some/most girls think that since they're married, they don' t have time for their old friends anymore?

I sure hope I didn't do that. I think my schedule changed, but I am pretty good about calling anyway!

Being married, friends are really hard to find. You want friends who like both you and hubby.

That can get really hard. Especially since you have to like them and their hubby. It gets complicated. You find friends that can be just your girlfriend and the guys don't have to hang out, but that limits the times you and the girlfriend can get together.

Also. Here's a HUGE pet-peeve I have.

Why don't they invite you back?!

Is it that they aren't that interested?

Are they poopie friends, so they don't think to invite you back?

Are they way too forgetful?

What's the problem here?

We have some friends who are great friends! They're nice, we get along rather well, we have fun hanging out.

But J and I are always the ones setting up play-dates. We're the ones who pull it together and get things going.

Now this is fine and dandy for a while, but it's nice to not have to do it yourself. It's nice to be invited and not just do all of the work all of the time.

We had a couple in our ward who we invited for family home evening on Mondays. We invited them over for game nights. We invited them over for dinner. They kept on saying they'd have us over to do something, but never came through. Either they forgot to call until it was too late or just never did it.

So we invited them over a lot. And never saw their house. We never were invited over.

When they moved, they did give us a standing invitation to spend the night at their house whenever we needed to in driving past. That was nice, and a bit more than they had done all summer, but it was a bummer that that's all we got. I'd have liked to not host allll of the FHE's.

J and I had a couple in our married ward at school. They were MODEL friends. They invited us, we invited them, it was great! When we invited them, they made sure that they either came, or scheduled a day that they could come!!

Then, they went to DC for internships. What's great though, is that they moved back to the west. They're in Salt Lake area, so not exactly the Boise valley, but it's good. We went to see them when we were traveling through. It was great fun. We miss them soooo much!!

Here we are now, with people we love to be with but don't call back. It's a little frustrating. My best friends live in Texas, Arkansas, and pretty much everywhere else but Nampa, ID. It's irritating. I live for social life. I love hanging out. Even if it's just a game and dessert or if it's just hanging out to talk. I miss it. I miss being able to walk next door and hang out at my FHE sister's apartment.

Why are friends so difficult?

When someone asks you over to FHE or a game night, you ask them back! Then, they'll ask you, then you can ask them. it's brilliant! and simple!!

When someone calls you, call them back next! It's in your ballpark!

When they invite you to sit by them at church, sit by them or make sure you sit near them the next week without invitation!

I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. I have some great friends. A lot of them just don't reciprocate very often. I feel like I do all of the work a lot of the time. And it's frustrating.

Thanks for letting me vent to you.... :)